Posted by Ryan Morgan on November 20, 2013 at 9:20 AM
The following blog was written in response to the #TellMeSC campaign where we asked South Carolinians what they wanted us to know about their sex ed experience.
I don’t remember receiving sex education in high school… I opted for business electives rather than health or home economics, so I missed the more detailed versions of sex education in my formative years. Most of my sexual knowledge came from awkward experience and candid conversations with college girlfriends. I was a "good girl" in high school, so I don't know if the message would have sunk in at the time, but if I could have been taught anything about sex “way back when,” here’s what I wish I would have known:
- • Sex is messy. Of the many clinical descriptions of intercourse I received, no one ever mentioned UTIs or bacterial infections. You didn’t "do it wrong," and most women experience this from time to time.
- • Sex is not for the faint of heart. There is no right or wrong between consenting adults, and there are many forms that pleasure may take. Magazines and movies don’t get it right. The learning curve for everyone is awkward and embarrassing, and that's okay – we all went through this.
- •Sex complicates things. The decision to engage in sex with another person changes the relationship you have with them. Sex isn’t a magic promise or a guarantee of anything, and you can’t predict the ways in which the relationship will change. Make your decisions based on you and here and now, not on someone else, and not based on what might be in the future.
- • Sex is normal. There are as many reasons for having sex as there are ways to have it. It's crucial to really know your motivations and know your partner’s, but don’t worry as much about what anyone else thinks. You’ll get more comfortable with this as you get older, and that’s as it should be.
You have to take responsibility for your own safety and health, both physically and emotionally. Once you have, though, there are infinite ways to please and to be pleased. Sex is exhilarating and fun. It is healing and comforting. It is an amazing affirmation of life and love, and it’s one of the better perks of being an adult. I wish someone had told me that when I was younger!