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The "R-word"

Posted by Megan Plassmeyer on May 13, 2015 at 10:06 AM

For those who still think “floozy women” are to blame for rape, allow me to put this in perspective for you. 

Imagine you are rich. Not just “ I saved 15% or more on my car insurance” rich, but “ I wear two gold watches at once even though I’m living in a singular time zone,” rich.  Let’s start you off there.



You pull up to the ATM in your black lambo , suit and tie, and pull out that magic card of money from American Express so you can grab a few bucks off of it. No big deal, right?

Then on the ATM next to you, a 2010 Toyota Camry drives up. A man in jeans and a tshirt also pulls out his magic card of money, looking to get some cash too.

Suddenly a robber slips around the corner. Even though you and the man at the ATM next to you both have the ability to pull out funds from the ATM with that magic American Express card, the robber hops into your lane, mugs you, and leaves.

You look astonished. The man that was in the other lane should have been mugged too. In fact, he was further away from the security camera than you were. 

“Why was I mugged and you weren’t,” you exclaim. “We both had what he wanted! Why was I targeted?

The man in the Camry looks at you sheepishly and replies. “I mean, did you see what you showed up in, did you see your clothes? …You were kind of asking for it.”

Astonished at the lack of care, you call the police. You are frustrated and explain the situation only for the police to call you back later after running a background check. A few hours later after the suspect has clearly gotten away, they call you back.

“Well we looked at your records,” they say hesitantly. “We see that in the past you’ve given it out pretty easily. You give out money a lot, in fact you are quiet the philanthropist. Maybe that robber got the wrong idea? Maybe he thought it would be okay for him to take some money too.”

They say you don’t have a case. They say you were asking for it.

Why when we hear this story does it seem like this poor man is being mistreated by the system, when this same situation happens to rape victims on a daily basis?

We are in a culture where we fear the “R- word” but we do not take actions to correct the corrupt ideology behind it.  How can we be accountable bystanders if we are taught to victim blame? How can we prevent a crime where perpetrators are often seen as naïve sheep who are hoarded in by the blatant actions of women who were “asking for it?”

No one ever asks for Rape.

Rape is a brought on by a cultural construction, not by female promiscuity.

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