Posted by Jordan Craven on February 12, 2015 at 9:00 AM
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an Amen?"
Valentines day is right around the corner (well, it's actually in just a couple of days... and depending on when you read this is could be tomorrow) and it's no surprise that it can cause some stress in your life. But honestly, don't sweat it.
As long as you aren't like the guys in the video below, you'll be fine:
But if you're still a bit nervous on what to do, or what to buy, or shoot, what to even say, then let me offer you some un-qualified advice.
Be yourself. "Shut up," I know it sounds like the blandest advice ever, but I really do mean it. I spent many years trying to be someone I wasn't so people would like me, and instead it pushed people away. After I came to college I decided to 'be myself' and be as authentic as possible. The result? I feel more confident, I have more friends, people like me for no good reason (I'm still figuring that one out) and I feel better because I'm not wasting energy being something I'm not. So when it comes to Valentines day, if your date can't accept you for being your authentic self for one night, they are probably not the one for you.
Ask. Figuring out what to do on a regular weekend night can be difficult, but adding the pressure of a holiday can make it seem 10 times worse. However, there is no reason to get worked up over this holiday. It's just another Saturday night. Relax and ask your date what they'd like to do, or what they'd not like to do. Even if they can't decide, I'm sure by allowing them to have input will make whatever you do so much better. Egalitarian all the way.
Consent. Sex, sex, sex. I get it. It's on your mind (who's mind isn't it on?), but remember your date isn't an object. They are a person. Before you get all caught up in your lust, make sure what you're doing is cool with the other person. (And might I add, in the edited words of Dan Savage, have sex first and eat second. No one wants to do it bloated and tired)
Have fun. In the end, it's likely you're both nervous. Wouldn't you like to both just have fun and forgive each other for saying stupid things later, instead of stiffly sitting in a restaurant while sweating? Valentines day is one day of the year, and life goes on. Make mistakes. Sound stupid. But just have fun. Make it a night to remember and think fondly of... or not. In the end, it's just another day. So whether you rent out Williams Brice and fly in Elton John to serenade your date, or you order pizza and watch a movie at home, you're doing it right.
Have a great Valentines day.